La'bRat

Just something... (3/?)

2008-11-09T06:56:10Z

Title: Just Something... (3/?)
Author: dna_grrl
Fandom: RPF - USGWT
Pairing: (Conflicted) Liukin/Johnson/Sacramone
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This isn't real. I own nothing.
Summary: She has a crush on her, so did her friend. But the one being crushed on…isn’t that way. Things change and you learn to deal or let go.
A/N: For the sake of story (or perhaps lack there of) let's just say that everyone was together on the later stretch of the tour. While the OT3 is prominent in this, it doesn’t mean that any one of them will end up with one another…. I’m attempting to touch on their friendship more than anything. Not entirely sure where this is headed, but it's a stab at RPF. Rip it apart if you like.

It felt like her flesh was being seared off with every revolution. It was a rare thing when Nastia attacked her bar routine without her grips. Her heart thudded with a shock of adrenaline. It throbbed into her ears.

She became disconnected from gravity, from reality, from everyone – and it was nirvana. Nastia dismounted to a singular golf clap that echoed in the arena.

“Oh Russian,

my Russian,

perfect and precise;

Cutting through air, with little vice.

Do you know though, that when you fly…

holy shit baby, your shirt rides high?”

A pause in genuflect is given for effect, soon followed by a laughing, “ ’Ay…bay bay.”

“That…”, Nastia huffed, “Was lame.” She glanced towards the source of the sharp clap and found a pair of impish doe-shaped eyes scrutinizing her before turning her gaze back towards her hands.

“C’mon, I thought you liked it when I serenaded you with my elite prose?”

Nastia lifted her eyes from staring at her hands, her breathing was irregular, “Shouldn’t you be clinging,” a breath, “to Sam or something?”

“Nice. Someone needs a little enema Gummi Bear in their diet; just to get the bitch out.”

“Am I really?” Nastia meekly asked.

“Yeah, this is me not being able to read your mind…”

“A female dog,” sighed Nastia, beginning to pick and prod at raw spots forming on her hand.

“You know, God won’t strike you down if you swear every now and then. From what I hear, he’s a nice, forgiving guy.”

“Shay!”

“I’m just sayin’, it can be therapeutic.” Shayla’s grin faded at the look on her friend’s face, “Think of it as an endearing quality. But…That’s not what’s eating at you though.” The lanky teen rounded the uneven bars all before pausing right before her friend, enough to extend her sneaker covered foot and nudge at the always-concentrating blonde's leg.

Nastia pressed both her hands to her head, flattening down the wisps of her hair, and then dropped them to her sides. She shrugged helplessly towards Shayla.

Shayla furrowed her brow a color of concern seeped into her words, “What’s up Nast? Is Shawn okay?”

“You saw, you were there. Doctor said she blacked-out, Shay,” Nastia murmured, “I… think it was more than that. She… looked at me and…”

“Didn’t I say start brushing your teeth?” Shayla then dug into her sweatpant-pocket and popped the lid to a plastic canister that she worked free, “Tic-Tac?”

Nastia stared at her unamused.

“No? Fine...” Shayla sighed, sending her coffee colored bangs chaotically about her face. “You haven’t talked to her yet.” It was more of a statement than a question.

Nastia shook her head mutely.

“Whose fault is that?”

“You’re the one who pointed it out in San Diego, if you didn’t open your gosh darned mouth...”, Nastia fired back.

Shayla laughed and received a sharp glare from the blonde, “Nast, it was a harmless rub! And while living in ignorant bliss is nice, it’s not recommended for your sanity.”

“It hit a chord.”

“Well…Shawn just looked so helplessly in puppy-lov—“ Nastia looked at Shayla. She paused, suddenly understanding, “You’re still freaked out by it.”

Nastia lowered her eyes.

Her mind free fell to the Olympics, rooming with Shawn was different from Alicia. They had nights of quiet conversations about what happened during the day, books, music… Shawn had been incredibly insightful on subject matters that she couldn’t really talk about with Alicia and the other girls. She learned about Shawn’s love of the outdoors, her dog and marveled at public school workings. Nastia had found that she wanted to spend majority of those days in companionable quiet with Shawn than seeking solace in the arms of the raucous College like atmosphere of the Village.

Sam, Alicia, and Shayla thrived on that. Shawn just happened to show her a different side of the word fun that didn’t include insanity.

That admiration carried through post-Olympic activities. Until a day came during one of their practices for the show, she had caught Shawn looking at her with those ever-expressive eyes; she saw something behind the gaze that she couldn’t decipher. It was a sweet look, trusting and open; she couldn’t quite look away, but she didn’t feel comfortable with it either.

It took a comment from Shayla that jarred her to the core.

“Oh my God, Shawn, stop eye-raping Nastia. C’mon, I wanna try this new routine!”

Nastia knew at that moment when the shorter gymnast forced her eyes from her own to shoot a glare at Shayla, Shawn cared for her more than a friend should. It scared her that things changed. Shawn was changing and she was the root of that change. But the strongest fear Nastia had, she wouldn't voice. She wouldn't acknowledge. In her mind she heard the faint repetition, “Homophobe.”

“Nast.”

Broken from her reverie she lifted her eyes to regard Shayla, “No…. no I’m not freaked by it.”

“Yeah, which is why you stopped hanging with Shawn; so not a way to handle someone who’s crushing on you. Unless…” Shayla eyed Nastia, “You stopped hanging with Shawn,” she echoed, “… then you started hanging with me. Are you in to me?”

“Wh…what…?? Are you insane? You!?” Nastia shoved herself from the uneven bars' lower tier, distancing herself from Shayla.

Shayla crossed her arms over her almost non-existent chest. “What the hell’s wrong with me?… Nevermind, don’t answer. Yeah I’m so convinced that you’re not freaked.”

“Shay – you know what I mean. And I’m not...” Nastia motioned with her hands, “That way. I don’t care for Shawn like that. I can’t be around her and fuel it.”

“You can’t even say it, it’s just a small-ish-Lesbonic crush! Shawn has a crush on you. So?” Everything was so black and white for Shayla. The slim gymnast dogged Nastia adding, “For all you could know, it's nothing, hell we've all acted gay around each other.” The slim brunette tapped at her lower lip, “Look at me and Sam, Sam and Alicia. Hm.. D’you think Sam’s..”

“Shayla.” prompted Nastia.

Nastia then looked away, but Shayla pressed on after regaining her focus. “Look…Hate to pop your tart but too late. You really think keeping her at arm’s length is helping? Nast – I know I wasn’t your first choice to come to and talk about this.”

The blonde started to protest, Shayla cut her off with a 'shh'.

“But Alicia and Sam wasn’t here. You needed to get it off your chest, I’m glad I was the ear and all, but I can’t do this for you. Bone up. You owe it to yourself and Shawn. Otherwise… she’s gonna keep on pining and you're gonna be the stone-cold-Russian-communist in her eyes.”

Nastia’s eyes snapped up. She sighed, “Think she really thinks of me that way?”

“I would be surprised if she didn’t at this point.”

Nastia nodded in mute understanding.

“You care about what she thinks of you…?”

“You think I don’t?”

Shayla shrugged, “Well y’kinda gave me reason to think you didn’t.”

“She’s… Shawn’s a really good friend, and I care about her. I…value what she thinks…”, Nastia’s voice trailed.

“You care about her? She's your friend? Wow,” deadpanned the brunette, “That's shocking.”

“You’re not funny….Yes she's my friend!” Nastia reiterated quietly.

Shayla stalked over to the much taller blonde and rested her hands on Nastia’s shoulders.

“Then be a friend, you care about her but not the way she wants you to… So then,” Shayla shrugged dismissively, “This is cut and dry, no amount of my poetic amazingness is going to help you out. Just talk to her; I mean really... it's Shawn.”

It was understood that Shawn Johnson, the perennial giddy-laughing-sunshine-bearing All-American girl, never held an ounce of ill-will towards anyone for any stretch of time. But there are reasons why life behind the prying eye of the camera lens and screaming idolizing fans is kept under lock and key. You aren't allowed to see what makes up the ugly side of human nature.

Just something... (2/?)

2008-11-09T06:48:10Z

Title: Just Something... (2/?)
Author: dna_grrl
Fandom: RPF - USGWT
Pairing: (Conflicted) Liukin/Johnson/Sacramone
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This isn't real. I own nothing.
Summary: She has a crush on her, so did her friend. But the one being crushed on…isn’t that way. Things change and you learn to deal or let go.
A/N: For the sake of story (or perhaps lack there of) let's just say that everyone was together on the later stretch of the tour. While the OT3 is prominent in this, it doesn’t mean that any one of them will end up with one another…. I’m attempting to touch on their friendship more than anything. Not entirely sure where this is headed, but it's a stab at RPF. Rip it apart if you like.

The designated tour doctor left a little over a half-hour ago announcing their teammate’s condition; overworked and dehydrated, but still a specimen of impeccable health. The final prognosis. Shawn just needed rest. Silence draped the room for a good while before a question was asked then was soon followed with an abrupt…

“I don’t know, Alicia!” Green eyes stared at the diminutive body lying asleep in the bed just mere feet from them.

“Bullshit! You were practically glued to her side Beijing, how can you not know now?” Alicia didn’t mean for her voice to be harsh, or accusatory.

“Guys, stop – don’t do this here,” cautioned Sam, her hand had already come to rest on Alicia’s arm.

Alicia’s rosewood eyes, tinged with a trace of red glanced back. Realizing at who it was, the one time team captain breathed out slowly. Sam had always had some extreme hand in her emotional state. She was so much like her. It wasn’t rocket science to see why she was so close to Sam; the blonde understood her. She gave the shorter girl a reassuring squeeze of her hand before her eyes returned to yet another blonde, standing stoically parallel to them. Nastia never met her gaze.

There had been a time she and Nastia were as close as any two people could possibly be; especially considering their vastly contrasting backgrounds. They had practically grown up together. When she was invited to participate with this stage of the tour… Alicia gladly accepted all to be with her girls again.

Sam, Chels, Shayla, Bridget…

Shawn…

…Nastia.

She watched her old friend. She witnessed the set jaw, the hardened stare, there was a hint of a downturn at the corner of her lips; the trace of worry for Shawn was apparent as she lay in bed. Alicia stepped from Sam after sharing a glance.

“Ace…” Sam whispered concerned.

The older woman cut her friend off with a shake of her head. Alicia knew the shorter blonde hated to leave Alicia and Nastia alone for too long. They both had intense personalities and when they fought, it was better to remain behind a barricade, because getting in the way was detrimental to your sanity and safety. Something Sam and Shayla could attest to.

“Sam, stay with Shawn.”

“Like I had a choice?” murmured Sam.

Nastia had finally tore her eyes from Shawn’s prone form and looked at her former captain. Alicia motioned for the tall blonde to follow her with a tilt of her head. Barely missing a beat, the inch-taller girl swept past Alicia in two quick strides. Alicia followed; they were instantly ensconced in the hallway of the hotel they stayed at just outside the room that Shawn shared with her cousin.

Nastia kept walking; her lanky arms were wrapped about her lithe form in a self-embrace and Alicia couldn’t stop her eyes from roaming Nastia’s all-too-grown body. So different from that awkward child she’d known since…forever began. She didn’t realize the depth of how much Nastia changed until the girl – the young woman – paused in her trek and glanced over her shoulder. The baby-fine hairs that almost always graced Nastia’s features made the younger woman seem more ethereal as the waning sunlight caught the silver-blonde wisps. There was an ever-slight crease marring Nastia’s brow. Alicia felt compelled to kiss those lines away, to be someone that Nastia could confide in once again…But that wasn’t her role anymore.

Inwardly Alicia couldn’t believe she envied Shawn that. No doubt Nastia and the imp grew closer as the days went on while on this tour; because of that, Alicia quietly began to pull away from Nastia and Shawn – their lives began to take on different forms. And you can’t stop change. Nastia was America’s new Gymnastic Royalty and Shawn its de facto sweetheart. There was only her life left to live.

“…I love her.”

Alicia blinked rapidly, breaking from her reverie and glanced at Nastia. She took this sudden information in before finding her voice, “What?” She realized that she had been staring at the younger woman for quite sometime as Nastia was speaking.

“Alicia,” sighed Nastia, “You weren’t listening to me were you?”

Alicia clenched her jaw, mirroring the blonde’s stance and indignantly replied, “You tend t’ramble, Nas. It can get annoying.” But she held a hand up to pre-empt Nastia from speaking and stated, “…I doubt you answered my question anyway.”

“If you listened - I did. And I don’t ramble.”

Alicia shrugged in a non-committal. “For the record, yeah – you do, but, we could go back and forth all fucking day” she shrugged “So.” she motioned for the blonde to continue.

Nastia mopped her sweat-licked face with the back of her hand and slowly began to pace the width of the hallway, “Look, long story short, I can’t be around Shawn.”

“Can’t or won’t.”

“Not twenty-four-seven. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

“Okay… sense this is not making.”

“I don’t need your Yoda-isms, Alicia.”

“Seriously – I don’t expect you to be around her every minute of everyday and I know you have obligations…,” Alicia bit her tongue, hoping it didn’t sound as terse as she thought it did but she caught the dull gaze from Nastia; the blonde to her credit didn’t say anything.

Alicia continued, “But…This is ShawnJohn we’re talking about! The lil’buddy to your Skipper and our baby girl. If she was sick you should have been the first to know.”

“I’m not her darned guardian Alicia; first off y’all need to get that straight…and,” Nastia’s face took on a pained expression, “I can’t do it when,” her hands moved errantly hoping that they could illustrate words she couldn’t find, “…I can’t be around her, Alicia becau--”

Alicia cut her off, “Oh my God, you do know the world doesn’t revolve around you, right?”

She couldn’t believe Nastia was thinking about herself at a time like this. Alicia stepped forward, closing the gap that rested between them.

“…Because what, Nast? Got interviews to do? Appearances to make, parties to get invited to, what?” She scoffed, “School me cuz I ain’t getting your thought-process, Princess. Shawn needs you. I need you to be there for her.”

There it was, the dead-calm gaze of the Russian-born competitor, burrowing into Alicia like no one’s business – She should have been unfazed by it, but that stare could cut even the most fearless to the core. Nastia tongued her cheek before edging herself closer towards the older woman.

“You never listen, Alicia. I told you, I love Shawn…,” Her voice adopted a lower timbre, oozing with something that Alicia can only define as electric and feral; it was the most inappropriate moment to realize that Nastia was affecting her body in a way that friends shouldn’t affect one another.

“But I’m not heartless.” Nastia spun on a planted heel readying to leave. The blonde paused… allowing her darkened gaze to flick over Alicia’s form,

“Don’t ask me to hurt her… If I don’t hate you now for insulting me, I will hate you for that.”

Just something... (1/?)

2008-11-09T06:40:53Z

Title: Just Something... (1/?)
Author: dna_grrl
Fandom: RPF - USGWT
Pairing: (Conflicted) Liukin/Johnson/Sacramone
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This isn't real. I own nothing.
Summary: She has a crush on her, so did her friend. But the one being crushed on…isn’t that way. Things change and you learn to deal or let go.
A/N: For the sake of story (or perhaps lack there of) let's just say that everyone was together on the later stretch of the tour. While the OT3 is prominent in this, it doesn’t mean that any one of them will end up with one another…. I’m attempting to touch on their friendship more than anything. Not entirely sure where this is headed, but it's a stab at RPF. Rip it apart if you like.

---

The Tour – final leg.

The emotions were the same; the friendship just as tight knit and epoxied as it ever was. For the first time since the Olympics, members of the both the Beijing and World 2007 teams were reunited. It was a familiar, heart-warming sight that greeted the young Iowan native as she entered the pavilion where their performance would be held.

The group huddled in a loose circle, all clad in warm-up attire, all animatedly chirping. Each character filling their role appropriately. Sam was sprawled next to Alicia and Nastia – probably talking about everything and nothing at the same time; they were close – they’d always been close.

Next to Alicia was Chellsie who would occasionally be glancing their way then elsewhere, particularly towards the Old Guy of the bunch – Joe. Chellsie offered a candid smile at him. And he replied with a toothy grin. Shawn wished that they would just cement whatever it was that was going on between them.

Her eyes continued onward; next to Chellsie, Shayla hovered about drifting every now and then to Sam, Alicia and Nastia. Shayla was another cog of that group, she was close to them, but also had a life of her own. Shayla began catcalling the members of the Men’s Gymnastics team that had joined the mashed-up troupe. Shawn shook her head amused at that. Shayla, she reasoned, was one of those erogenous zones ready for a scritch from anyone willing to give it to her. Not that Shawn would know about such things. Why should she?

I’m Shawn Johnson. Ultra Q-T pie extraordinaire… Innocent, naïve… young.
Whatever.

She sighed heavily and her eyes continued to roam. Bridget entered with a Big Flyer Red-Wagon in tow. From the looks of it, Shawn assessed that it was full with today’s lunch. Bridget had already adopted a defensive posture, even going so far as to pull out a martial arts-styled battle cry as soon as anyone neared the wagon. That was ultimately, very Bridget-like.

Absently her eyes drew back towards Alicia and Nastia; she didn’t want to watch them, but she didn’t want to not watch them.

Sam had obviously said something funny, because she saw them laugh; Shawn’s brows knit tightly. Since this tour began, she felt like she’d lost footing with the two people she had grown implicitly fond of; then again, did she ever even get to that plateau to be called BFFs (she cringed at that term) with them? After all, it had always been Sam, Shayla, Nastia and Alicia – the older girls. The Fantastic Four.

She sighed.

But…Her eyes remained focused on her two friends. Shawn decided a long time ago that both Nastia and Alicia brandished two different types of beauty. Both types she learned to appreciate.

Alicia harnessed an inner fire with passion for what she did; it was difficult to not look at her. Harder still to quell the need to be next to her just to bathe in the spell Alicia wove. Shawn acknowledged that because Alicia was one of the eldest members of the team, she was definitely the most alluring with her womanly curves. But a simple truth rung out with finality… Alicia Sacramone was devastatingly attractive and everyone didn’t hesitate to proclaim that as gospel.

But as sure as Shawn was with her sexuality, (which she really wasn’t)… She loved Alicia as deeply as a friend can for another.

Nastia had shifted from her position catching Shawn’s attention. The blonde rose to her feet in with an easy fluidness of a dancer. Shawn’s head tilted slightly to one side, observing her one-time roommate. She was tall at least in comparison to Shawn, long limbed, and imperially elegant with her gestures. While Nastia didn’t have the exotic looks of Alicia, she held her own. Her beauty stemmed from that quiet intensity when she competed then slipped from her when off the podium. Nastia was just as much of a goofball as the rest of the team was.

Shawn liked that about Nastia, she melded both worlds; just one thing over countless she liked…

A faint smile touched the corner of her lips before a disembodied voice said, “It’s not a competition.”

She glanced abruptly over her shoulder and was met with the cutting profile of Valeri Liukin. His arms were crossed, his stance planted. Valeri’s gaze had been affixed to the floor where his daughter was, who’d already begun to run through her routine.

“Hi Mr. Liukin…I don’t think I…?” questioned Shawn as her smile waned.

“Always in competitions – always by yourself. It’s not a competition, no meet,” Valeri stated disjointedly, which oddly made sense. His hand rubbed genially at his chin, “So why are you standing here alone, Shawn?”

Shawn’s glance shifted from Valeri back towards the floor, then down to her flip-flop dressed feet. One foot began to scuff at the flooring. Her hands stuffed into her USA hoodie pockets. At the sound of familiar laughter she lifted her gaze and found Nastia and Shayla looking like they were in the middle of a tag-you're-it game, before Nastia ended up getting tackled by Alicia from behind. Irritably Shawn fought to tear her eyes from the play.

“I just… sort of,” shrugged Shawn, “…get distracted, sir,” she beamed her smile, “You know me…Teenager – too much on my mind – I get all deer-in-the-headlights.” She pantomimed pausing in place with wide eyes and open mouthed before she grinned, “No big.”

Valeri turned his ever-observant gaze on to Shawn. It made her inwardly cringe. He nodded after a while accepting her statement. “If that’s all…”

Shawn slapped on the effervescent Shawn-smile for good measure.

“You’re a good girl Shawn,” said Valeri and then reached out to give her a loose hug about her shoulders and added, “Nastia… just has a lot going on right now.”

Shawn stared at Valeri, touched with a look of confusion and unease on her face. She shook her head quickly and motioned with a jut of her thumb to the floor, “I should…”

He nodded – his gaze steely and unwavering on the floor; his daughter definitely inherited that look from Valeri.

“Sure, go on… and,” Valeri turned his attention briefly back towards Shawn, “…remind Nastia this is practice.”

Shawn jogged off with a bob of her head hearing that familiar edge in Valeri’s voice. The man was all business when it came to Gymnastics.

As she neared the group, Shawn was greeted with a series of, “Shawnie! ShawnJohn! Shawn-Jizzle! Woot, da Mighty Mouse!” She wrinkled her nose at each nickname. All terms of endearment, all she didn’t mind. They each engulfed her in a hug or gave her head-noogie, even Alicia joined in; when does she never? Alicia had a penchant for possessive grapple-hugs and a smacking of her lips to whatever body part was available for her to kiss. She loved doling them out at a whim.

Shawn always looked forward to the Alicia-smotherings. She felt comforted in the woman’s supportive arms and melted easily into the embrace; they came few and far between now that the Olympics and training had ended.

She didn’t want to think about that. To know that the road they traveled on for so long together was ending at the next bend. That was too much to take. Shawn breathed in, noting the faint scent of vanilla and cinnamon blanketing Alicia’s flesh, it was all about the here and now. Shawn will hold on to it as tight as she could before being forced to let go.

She liked that smell it was so Alicia… a melting pot of striking differences that made sense.

Shawn couldn’t help but try to nestle further into Alicia’s arms; as if feeling the quiet need… she felt the older woman’s arms grip about her smaller frame, tightly. A soft murmur touched her ears, “Babygirl.” For a little while, the world was right again.

But Alicia had been the first to loosen her grip and grudgingly the hug ended. And there was Nastia, quietly waiting in the wings.

Nastia had no nickname for her, nor was she ever truly, physical with her. It was always a simple…

“Hey Shawn,” softly said and accompanied with that brilliant smile and a quick, yet all-encompassing hug, then nothing more as she readied to breeze past her like she’d always been doing lately.

Shawn was a little troubled by that. The media had fostered their bond as rivals; they realized that they needed to defend each other and themselves from all the speculation. They were friends, and that friendship further grew at Stuttgart and she thought it solidified at the Olympics. But since the advent of the tour, it seemed…changed. Then again, her priorities ran opposite of what Alicia and Nastia did.

This was just Nastia’s thing, though. She seemed to refrain from being overly affectionate in public. But... Shawn’s logical mind argued that she’d seen clips and been a witness of Nastia being tackled by Sam and Alicia in tandem…in public. There was an instance where it looked like Alicia nearly planted her lips on Nastia’s own at nationals, televised no less – Shawn found herself YouTubing that. Moving it frame by frame, studying it, studying them…wishing... It bothered her that she yearned to see more; it bothered her even more that she had wished she were a part of that intimacy. It was her secret, her quiet guilt.

And when Nastia and Shayla were consistently whoring it up for mug shots on the tour, it didn’t help Shawn’s insecurities. Just the two of them, that’s how it went. That’s how it’s been.

Shawn was jealous. She needed to know that she ranked somewhere higher than how Nastia saw her… hell… even how Alicia saw her. Why didn’t she fit anymore?

This time before Nastia moved from her and without any hesitation, Shawn’s hand caught at the crook of the taller gymnast’s arm, stopping her. Nastia glanced curiously back to Shawn, meeting her gaze.

“Shawn?” Nastia asked concerned.

Nastia’s eyes were flecked with specks of gold and tawny among a sea of jade. Shawn never really saw that before. It was soul-rendering…

…and suddenly felt herself drowning in them.

Oh God.
Oh Cheez Whiz.

A spate of dizziness blanketed Shawn – it felt like vertigo. Shawn gave her head a little shake to clear her mind; it hadn’t worked, “Your dad,” she managed out, “…He kinda said t-to stop goofing off ann..d…”

Something was wrong, Shawn inwardly wondered why Nastia’s gaze changed from concern to frantic, then Alicia’s voice was sharply ringing out calling for her. Shawn’s gaze tracked Nastia’s and Alicia’s features, but they grew hazy and then…

Nothing.

---

*YouTube clip for those that want to see that Sam, Alicia & Nastia moment [4:35-4:40]